As you know, I try to find comfort and contentment in the everyday little things like finding the right tea for my breakfast and after dinner. Like when I'm sick, I concentrate on getting better one drug dose at a time while finding alternative ways to do things I don't have the strength to do. Like how I constantly find easier ways to do things I find difficult to do.
You can look at a person and instantly decide you don't like them. Perhaps the semblance of their face triggered an association with something or someone you hate, or they remind you of a version of yourself that you dread becoming or never want to see again. You can look at another face and only register apathy or indifference. It takes something substantial inside of you to like and love someone, yet it is still natural to experience jealousy towards them. Besides, jealousy disguises itself as self-love. Jealousy is saying “It doesn't matter that I love myself now, I'll love myself more if I have what that person has…if I could just take it and make it mine”. Jealousy is telling yourself to do away with the means of your choice and pragmatic steps to achieving what that person has achieved. Yet, life is a journey. For you to have fulfilment, your journey must make sense to you.
It is easier to dislike or be indifferent about a person than it is to like them because you'd still have to compete with them. This competition is indirect of course, but the emotions can still be strong. I've always pondered about what it means for me to like someone; how I exude that feeling towards them, and how I reconcile my jealousy for their lives or lifestyle. Jealousy clouds your vibe and before you know it, you're making rooms and relationships too stuffy for anyone to stick around in.
I've settled that I have to, big or small and whether my people are aware of it or not, actively participate in making their lives better with me in it. This participation makes me feel like an investor. This doesn't make me less jealous or make the jealousy less hurtful, but it works on the side of pride. It brings a sense of vitality to my being because it feels good to know that you helped make something better. I like it better when I secretly do something for my people. I'm covered with this sense of pride whenever I meet them. I smile with them as if to say: “Hey you, that I've been praying for to have all your heart desires! Hey you, who I brag to my other people about your kindness. Hey you, who have had some tough luck and I'm doing the best I can to help see you through. Hey you, with that awesome craft that I've been recommending to everyone who would dare to listen. Hey, you. Hey, you. Hey, you. I am privileged to see you again”. This voice, I find, almost always drowns the voice of jealousy.
The true benefit of helping people become better isn't them saying thank you. It is the joy of seeing your good hands prevail over the bad ones. It makes you believe in your good side. Good hands are your actions that attempt to make something better while bad hands are those actions that try to bring something down. Good hands breed peace of mind.
You should drop the names of your people in places that matter. You should talk good about your people to your other people and strangers even. Credit your people's ideas and stories when you convey them. It should go without saying but, do check on them and be there for them. If you're a praying person, pray for your people. Turn them into teammates.
You may not notice, but the world is big enough to have two Number 1s. The rungs are strong enough to carry you two. The rooms are big enough to contain you two. You don't have to curse their shooting star and turn it into brimstone. You won't have to.
This is what I want for you, dear reader, as you reset your calendar. That you become more proactive about making everyone you like better. Nothing is more meaningful and gives glorious purpose (shout-out to Loki) than actively participating in making people better.
And it is with this that I say, I'm rooting for you to root for your people (and perhaps me and my newsletter) to be better and alright.